Open your eyes...

A saw a headline today in the news about a 78 year old man who was a victim to a hit and run and no one stopped to help him. (Story found here). Yesterday, on my way home from work, I saw a collection of items in the road, that apparently didn't belong there, taking up an entire lane. As I approached closer, I saw there was a woman in an SUV pulled to the side of the road preparing to collect her items that leaped from her car. Cars ahead of me slowed down, moved to the other lane and simply passed by. Others didn't even bother slowing down, just jetting to the other lane and cruising by. I stopped and parked my car to protect her items, got out and carried her children's stroller to her truck for her. Her kids were in the back watching everything go down.

So I think to myself, WTF. Please don't get me wrong, I realize this could be read as some holier-than-though bull crap. That is in no way my intention. I want people to wake up! Come on now, there are more people living in this world along with you. Where's the compassion, where's the community, where's the love???

-- I'm reminded suddenly of an earlier blog about the child I found wondering in the parking lot. (Read about it here) --

One question I've learned to ask myself through the years is "what is this about for me?".

My first reaction to this is anger. I get pissed off that people are so self-absorbed that the entire world around them is a blur...almost non-existent. They walk around bumping into people while texting. They talk blindly on their cell phones while standing right next to you with no regard to tone. If I were to embrace this anger, I'd probably end up grabbing someone, smacking them upside the head and saying... Shit! You know what? It doesn't matter. Probably wouldn't make a difference. Anger breads nothing but anger.

As I look deeper I see the fear. The fear feels like a dark cloud circling around my stomach. It shortens my breath. It tightens my chest. My fear is that these people will endanger me, my wife, my family. These people will ignore me if I fall and need them. These people will ignore my cries for help. Am I really alone?

Still deeper I see the sadness. The sadness feels like a river of tears flowing through my entire being. It weighs on my heart. It weighs on my soul. I can taste the salt. My sadness is around the belief that people are not inherently good. That people don't care for each other. That people aren't interested in loving. That people aren't interested in me.

I've learned much about myself over the years. I know that I am a loving man. I am a man who chooses to be compassionate, chooses to be part of the community...part of the village. I am a man who strives to live my life with integrity, who strives to hold myself accountable for each and every one of my actions. I am also a man who needs people. I need people in my life to nourish, to nourish me. I need people in my life to love. This is part of my core...part of who I am.

So what to do?

I can choose to live my life as I am, simply allowing you to be who you are. I can choose to stand up and get on the nearest soap box and start screaming at the top of my lungs for you to wake up. I can allow the feelings and the judgments to absorb me, to fall into a depressive stupor and loose myself in the experience.

~ take a breath

WAIT! I have another idea...

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'
doesn't make any sense.

~ Rumi


Not only open your eyes...open your heart.

- greg

Monocacy - Up Close And Personal : Part V

The Big Picture.

As I wrap up my series for the Monocacy, I want to take a look at what this project has taught me, us, along the way.

With Part I (found here), I shared my intention of the project. My hope was (and still is) for you to become part of the photograph; to remind you that you are part of something bigger; to remind you that everything and everyone is connected.

With Part II (found here) I brought you into the peace of nature. I provided you with an opportunity to experience the calmness, the magic of what's all around you - all of the time. My hope is you were reminded that wherever you are, whenever it may be, there is a peace of nature along with you to ground you - to remind you.

With Part III (found here) I opened myself up further with some of my frustration and anger. I was forced to take a good look in the mirror and come face to face with the battles that lie within. My hope was to allow you to do the same. Take a look into where you fit and what it is you may want to do differently.

With Part IV (found here) my hope was to remind you that life is full of choice. Every moment can be viewed in many ways and accepting and embracing life for what it is, without judgment, could be peaceful and fulfilling.

So, as this project comes to an end, I thank you for walking this journey with me. Knowing in some way that all of us who have read this will embrace life differently, perhaps more aware, fills me with great joy and hope.

~ take a breath

Namaste.

- greg

Monocacy - Up Close And Personal : Part IV

Redirected.

The water flows freely, following the path it has carved for centuries. Suddenly, there's something in the way...what could it do? It does what it has been doing for as long as rivers flowed - it embraces it and move through. What happens to the water though? Does it change? Look at it.

Lines that once were now become curves. Stillness now becomes turbulence. Light becomes shadow. Is it different? Or is it more?

I see this image and I'm reminded of life and the choices I have. There are times when my life is moving along smoothly, comfortably, even peacefully. Then suddenly, there's a stump in my way. I have many choices. I can avoid it completely. I have learned, though, that if I do, I will be facing that stump again. I can pretend it isn't there at all. I have learned, though, that if I do, I'm only lying to myself. I can replace it with something else - another stump perhaps. I have learned, though, that this is no way to live.

There is another way!

I can learn from the water. I can embrace it and move through. I have learned that if I step back and see the stump as part of the water - part of life - and not a hindrance, I can take in the beauty it creates - the curves, the turbulence, the shadows.

~ take a breath

Life is choice - every moment can be viewed in many ways. I choose to dance with the beauty created by the stump.

- greg

There are additional images from the Monocacy available on a blog-only section of my website. I hope you find them pleasing.

As the sun sets...

I took this photograph pondering the events of 2007, the milestones like opening my studio; my wife and I applying to adopt a baby - the successes like the completion of a large home project - the challenges like writing my autobiography - the family and friends that have meant so much to me...it was a great year. This photograph has another meaning to me now. Let me explain...

I met Phil over a year ago at the gym. I was screwing around playing some basketball and he approached me along with his buddy. "Wanna play ball?"...sure, why not. We weren't very good, but good enough to run around, get some exercise, make a few points, scream at the ball, and call a foul on whatever because we were tired and frustrated. I'm not sure what happened, but after a while, more people joined in and it became an every Tuesday event...then every Tuesday/Thursday event...than back to every Tuesday (for me, at least). We had a great time.

Phil, played soccer and he was fast - when I say fast, I mean one second you're dribbling, the next second, he's flying past you with the ball in his hands. He wasn't the best shot, but I'll tell you what, every time he made one, you'd stand there, scratch your head and ask "how the heck did that go in?". He had this thing when he would shoot a three-pointer. He would post, take a loud, deep breath, then shoot, with no regard, towards the basket. When he would miss, he'd miss big - when he made it...+3 with style ~ "COUNT IT". He was a lot of fun to play ball with. When we weren't playing ball, we'd be working out and he was quick to help out with a spot on a lift or just helping me mack on the Cowboys.

Phil passed away over Christmas ~ he was 24.

~ take a breath

It's with a heavy heart that I look again at this sunset. I realize how it will never be the same. I also realize that I can find comfort in knowing that it will always be. Tomorrow, the sun will rise, and set, as it always does - but it will most likely look different than it did today.

I mourn my friend with great sadness, while at the same time, celebrate the life he lived with his friends and family. I find peace in knowing that although Phil, the man, has left us, Phil, the spirit remains.

May he walk gently into the light...

I'll miss him.

- greg