Open your eyes...

A saw a headline today in the news about a 78 year old man who was a victim to a hit and run and no one stopped to help him. (Story found here). Yesterday, on my way home from work, I saw a collection of items in the road, that apparently didn't belong there, taking up an entire lane. As I approached closer, I saw there was a woman in an SUV pulled to the side of the road preparing to collect her items that leaped from her car. Cars ahead of me slowed down, moved to the other lane and simply passed by. Others didn't even bother slowing down, just jetting to the other lane and cruising by. I stopped and parked my car to protect her items, got out and carried her children's stroller to her truck for her. Her kids were in the back watching everything go down.

So I think to myself, WTF. Please don't get me wrong, I realize this could be read as some holier-than-though bull crap. That is in no way my intention. I want people to wake up! Come on now, there are more people living in this world along with you. Where's the compassion, where's the community, where's the love???

-- I'm reminded suddenly of an earlier blog about the child I found wondering in the parking lot. (Read about it here) --

One question I've learned to ask myself through the years is "what is this about for me?".

My first reaction to this is anger. I get pissed off that people are so self-absorbed that the entire world around them is a blur...almost non-existent. They walk around bumping into people while texting. They talk blindly on their cell phones while standing right next to you with no regard to tone. If I were to embrace this anger, I'd probably end up grabbing someone, smacking them upside the head and saying... Shit! You know what? It doesn't matter. Probably wouldn't make a difference. Anger breads nothing but anger.

As I look deeper I see the fear. The fear feels like a dark cloud circling around my stomach. It shortens my breath. It tightens my chest. My fear is that these people will endanger me, my wife, my family. These people will ignore me if I fall and need them. These people will ignore my cries for help. Am I really alone?

Still deeper I see the sadness. The sadness feels like a river of tears flowing through my entire being. It weighs on my heart. It weighs on my soul. I can taste the salt. My sadness is around the belief that people are not inherently good. That people don't care for each other. That people aren't interested in loving. That people aren't interested in me.

I've learned much about myself over the years. I know that I am a loving man. I am a man who chooses to be compassionate, chooses to be part of the community...part of the village. I am a man who strives to live my life with integrity, who strives to hold myself accountable for each and every one of my actions. I am also a man who needs people. I need people in my life to nourish, to nourish me. I need people in my life to love. This is part of my core...part of who I am.

So what to do?

I can choose to live my life as I am, simply allowing you to be who you are. I can choose to stand up and get on the nearest soap box and start screaming at the top of my lungs for you to wake up. I can allow the feelings and the judgments to absorb me, to fall into a depressive stupor and loose myself in the experience.

~ take a breath

WAIT! I have another idea...

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'
doesn't make any sense.

~ Rumi


Not only open your eyes...open your heart.

- greg